Today feels a bit weird, both my kids left home before 8am to get to nursery and school. I have been in the studio since 8am and its bang on 9am now. I have already had more concentrated time alone than I do in some weeks.
Today I have got big plans, I’m having a day of creating. I am working on a new body of work, where I am exploring the many layers both we as humans and our fellow equines have, how they have built up over time and helped us to become the people/horses we are today and how are personalities are shaped by these layers.
I feel the impulse to create all the time and yet
sometimes it feels like the hardest thing to do. We all have this constant chat in our heads and as a mother the chat usually goes along the lines of “am I a bad mother for wanting to spend time in the studio” “am I a bad mother for wanting a bit of peace and quiet time to get my thoughts in order?” This makes creating harder because there is an underlying guilt attached to spending time away from the children, but as if over taken by some other force, the desire to create and get the thoughts inside my head out into my work just takes its hold and here I am creating a new piece. I have learnt to be really value my time, and to fully commit to that moment, so I am either working/creating or I’m being mum, I can’t do both at the same time, and lucky enough today I have until 4pm to create…bliss!